The Little Things
September 26, 2013

I’m over at Runaway Bridal Planner today. Check it out!

Happy Thursday! This last week sure flew by quickly, and I can’t believe I’m already at the last Thursday of the month. This month I’ve been really intentional each day to hunt for provisions and blessings in my life, and I’ve found a few every day. It’s funny how these things are there regardless, but we just don’t take the time to look for them, see them, or acknowledge them. That being said, here’s what I’m thankful for this week:

Sunshine and warmth! It’s been an awesome start to fall, and as I sat outside on a bench in the sun at work during my lunch hour, I was thankful. My office doesn’t have windows, so I’m loving the fact that I can get outside for part of my lunch hour and see the sun and feel the fresh air on my face. So many good things about this!

Bike rides. I know biking has been on my lists a lot recently, but I really am so thankful for the hours in my week that I’m able to hop on my bike and hit the road. There’s something so therapeutic to me about pedaling quickly and feeling the wind across my face. On Tuesday, after a 10 hour work day, I hit the road and it felt really fantastic.

Pumpkin Cranberry Oatmeal Cookies. I posted the recipe last fall, and I think I may love it even more this fall! I made them this past weekend, and it’s been so nice to end my day with a few cookies that taste just like fall! YUMMMM.

SLEEP! The last few weeks I’ve had a really hard time adjusting to teaching 6 am pilates classes, so my sleep has been scarce. This last week I’ve slept pretty well, and I’m thankful for finally getting into a fairly good sleep pattern… for now.

Fall decorations! They’re such a little thing, but those little pumpkins and gourds put a smile on my face in my office and living room. Sometimes little silly things do help to brighten life, and fall decorations certainly add a little bit of happiness to my life each day.

You, my readers. I celebrated 2 years of blogging yesterday, and I’m thankful for you and the lessons I’ve learned over these past 24 months.

Now it’s your turn to share! What are you feeling thankful for today? What’s adding a little happiness or a smile to your life?

September 25, 2013

2 years ago today I sat down at my computer and wrote my first post on this blog! I didn’t know what I really wanted for this blog, but I had just started running and knew that I wanted a place to track my growth. Through these 2 years, I’ve learned so much about fitness and exercise, and I’ve had so many extra surprises as well! So, I thought I would summarize a few of those lessons and surprises I’ve had over these last 2 years:

But mostly, today, i want to say thank you to all of you who read here. My hope is to present a rounded view of wellness, not specifically just physical health. I hope that you’re able to gain something from my mental health posts as well. The mind and body are deeply connected, and part of my goal in blogging is to convey this. Thank you to all who keep reading, commenting, and sending tweets my way! You help make writing fun for me!

Now it’s your turn to share! What’s one lesson you’ve learned from blogging?

September 24, 2013

Saturday morning on my training run for the week I decided to spend the time welcoming fall! I love fall, and spent a bit of time allowing myself to finally get excited for some of the things that are coming in my life over these next few months (pumpkin flavor, changing leaves, drinking warm tea again, scarves, boots, apples- Hmmm… most of these are food or clothing related).

I had debated the night before if I would wake up early to run or if I wanted to wait until around noon. At the time I preferred to start my run, the temperature was about 56 but humidity was 93% (UGH!). If I waited another 3-4 hours it would be 10-12 degrees warmer but the humidity was significantly lower (upper 40’s/low 50’s). I debated for a few hours before going to bed, and decided to set my alarm for early in the morning and decide based on how it felt.

Despite being at 93% humidity, the weather felt cool when I woke up, so I decided to go for it! I did a very face paced (for me…) 14.5 mile bike ride the day before, so I was wondering how my legs would feel. I’m also always a bit nervous as I head out, not knowing how my posterior tibial tendinitis will behave… My goal was to try and hold my half marathon goal pace for the run, but I didn’t know how that would go as my last few “long runs” have been significantly slower.

As I started out I fell naturally into a good pace and my breathing evened out pretty quickly. I started off listening to a Jillian Michaels podcast, and that is usually interesting and funny enough that I’m a little distracted, but light enough that I can still stay tuned into my own body.

Around mile 2.5 my IT bands started to hurt, and this worsened throughout the rest of my run. My IT band pain is a constant in each training cycle, and while I’m very frustrated with it, I’m also used to training with that pain.

I ate a few margarita flavored shot bloks at mile 4 as that is what I do during a half marathon. Because of the humidity, I also carried my hand held water bottle that was filled with gatorade. I worried that carrying this for 7 miles would get tiring, but I had no problems and was very grateful for it.

I ran my usual course and I had a great time. In fact, this was definitely my best run (in terms of enjoyment and feeling) that I’ve had since maybe April sometime. From mile 5-5.5 I really just spent the time truly loving and appreciating what I was in the middle of doing.

I did this run using the 3:1 run/walk ratio and really like this. Every other walk I stopped and stretched out my IT bands a little bit (just in the last 2 miles). I was able to stick to my goal pace throughout the run, with my average pace at 11:24 per mile! My 7 mile training run last fall was at an 11:46 per mile pace, so I was happy to see that my pace dropped as much as it did.

Like I said, this run was my best run in months, and I wanted to take the time to recognize that! I ended up doing 7.4 miles, and loved almost every step of it!

Now it’s your turn to share! What makes a training run good in your eyes? 

September 23, 2013

Last week I kicked off this series on safety by talking about how we lose our safety (check it out if you missed it!). Today I’m going to start talking about characteristics of unsafe people. These come from the book Safe People by Cloud and Townsend.

As I mentioned in my last post, part of keeping ourselves safe is learning to recognize what an unsafe person looks like. We learn to identify the warning flags, and we learn the best ways to keep those people at a distance, whether that is physically distant or emotionally distant. Here are a few of those warning flags, from the book Safe People:

 Unsafe people think they “have it all together” instead of admitting their weakness. When we are in relationship with someone who “has it all together” we can feel one of the following ways:  feeling disconnected, feeling “one down” from the other person (the other person is “superior” to us), feeling weaker than one actually is, or feeling dependent on the strong one. People who “have it all together” will likely not be able to accept anything less than “having it all together” from you.

 Unsafe people are defensive instead of open to feedback. “All close relationships hurt, because no perfect people live on the earth. But the safe people are the wise ones that can hear their sin and respond to our hurt. In short, they can “own” where they are wrong…Someone who does not own his need to change does not change, and the hurt is likely to continue” (p. 31). It’s frustrating to be sharing with someone how their behavior impacts you, and they get angry, defensive, or even turn the issue back on you! If someone can’t be open to feedback, then we become very shut down in that relationship, and we lose our voice- scary!

Unsafe people are self-righteous instead of humble.  This is known as the “I’m better then you” syndrome. When this is played out in relationship, it can create guilt and shame for the other involved.  “The ‘not me’ experience- people have a character structure that does not allow them to see certain realities as part of themselves. They project things onto others and cannot own their own flaws” (p. 32). Talk about stressful! This characteristic playing out in relationship can add a lot of frustration and toxicity. This characteristic should also encourage our own self-reflection to determine our own safety!

 Unsafe people only apologize instead of changing their behavior. Does the individual just say that they are sorry, or does their behavior reflect an actual change? Safe people change their behavior, while unsafe people will just “talk” their apology. “Repentant people will recognize a wrong and really want to change because they do not want to be that kind of person. They are motivated by love to not hurt anyone like that again. These are trustworthy people because they are on the road to holiness and change, and their behavior matters to them” (p. 33). Unsafe people are more often sorry that they are caught and not sorry for their actual behavior. This is a characteristic that is really critical in healthy relationships! If we don’t change, we stay stuck in our unhealthy patterns instead. Although hard, it’s much better to say we’re sorry and really seek to learn, grow, and change through this.

This is just the start, so I’ll keep sharing on my mental health monday posts! As much as we need to be learning what unsafe people look like to keep ourselves safe, we also need to be looking for these characteristics in ourselves. When we see bits of a lack of safety, it’s best to work it out so that we become safe for others as well.

Now it’s your turn to share! Have you ever been in a relationship with people who have any of these characteristics? What’s frustrating about those types of people? Are you open to feedback, or does it feel threatening when other people point out areas of weaknesses? 

September 22, 2013

As I mentioned last week, these last two weeks have been tricky workout wise. This was week 2 of Best Body Bootcamp, which I love and think it definitely helpful while training. I’m also teaching pilates/pilates barre classes two mornings a week, which has meant earlier mornings (and earlier bedtimes!), and two lost mornings to be able to work out. On top of that I have an ongoing crisis situation in my counseling job that I am dealing with, which means that I am at the office later than usual most days. All of these things are definitely making it a bit more challenging to fit workouts in, but I’m definitely managing. Challenging doesn’t mean impossible, right? 🙂  That being said, here’s what this week looked like:

I get a little big of exercising in during my pilates classes. The barre class especially has a good amount of times where I am in front of the class also doing the exercise, so I get to move in both of these classes to varying degree. However, this doesn’t equal a total workout, so I have to find another time in the day. My run this week was really great, which was a nice way to end my week in workouts/ kick the weekend off on the right foot! More on that run coming later this week!

Now it’s your turn to share! Do you have a way you prefer to kick the weekend off? 

September 19, 2013

Thursdays are my Friday in that they are the last day I go into the office for the week. I do a lot of work from home on Fridays, but, realistically, Thursdays feel like Friday to me, so they are extra happy days! I continue to hunt for provisions in my life, and it’s like a fun little game each day. Here are some of the provisions from this week:

My baby brother! It’s his 22nd birthday today, and I truly can’t believe that he’s so old! I remember so much about the day he was born. I remember getting into the elevator on the way to hold him for the first time, and I remember when they placed him into my arms. I was immediately the protective older sister, and remain so to this day! I’m so thankful for him!

The Color Me Rad 5k Run! I ran this race this past Saturday and I had a really wonderful time! The fun and laughter it brought into my life would’ve been provision enough, but I had the opportunity to get a free bib through their race ambassador program, and this was an extra huge blessing for me!

A supportive work environment. I know I’ve said before that I really love my job, but something I really value is the support I feel! One of the biggest protectors against counselor burnout is having great supervision and supportive colleagues. I have both things and I try to remember daily how much of a blessing this is!

Baby pumpkins and gourds! Summer might be my favorite season, but I sure love all things fall as well. I had no intention of decorating for fall for another week or two, but as soon as my eyes passed over those tiny, cute little pumpkins and gourds, I couldn’t help myself. I stocked up on enough for my house and my office, and I smile every time I look at those little guys! It’s the little things, right?

Caffeine! Now that I have to be up by 5 am a few days a week, I’m definitely drinking a bit more caffeine. (To avoid becoming addicted I’m making sure that I still avoid caffeine completely 2-3 days a week! That’s the addictions counselor in me 😀 ) Isn’t it a fantastic little substance? I don’t drink too much, but it definitely does help give me a little boost of energy at the start of my day.

Now it’s your turn to share! What are you feeling thankful for right now? Have you decorated for fall yet?

September 18, 2013

There are so many excuses to avoid exercise, and I’ve recently been once again working one of my standard excuses.

You see, I don’t live in the most safe area, which makes exercise just that much more difficult. I have an area that encompasses about 4 miles that is really safe enough for me to be out in on my own. Being out at dark is never safe by myself, which means that I only have a few possible hours each day to be outside. In the winter, I have about 30 minutes that could ever work for me to be outdoors. If my walking partner wants to walk, we can do that at night, but we go equipped with ID, phones, a rape whistle, and pepper spray. This makes it a little more difficult to exercise, but that doesn’t need to be an excuse, right?

When I first started exercising in 2010, I walked with a friend from grad school. I started running in December of that year, and felt fine running on my own during the day. However, this didn’t seem to compute with walking. If she cancelled our walk (it’s pretty standard for her to cancel pretty regularly), it meant that I couldn’t walk either. That’s crazy, right? Like I said, I didn’t live in a safe area, but I could convince myself if I was running that I would be safe. Then, one day, in February of 2012, I decided to go on a walk on my own. Revolutionary idea, right? But that seemed to break through a barrier that I had in my mind… allowing me to break through that excuse. Sure, I had to get a little uncomfortable being out on my own, but I found ways to manage the risk as best as I could.

But then I hit the issue of biking. I loved biking, but didn’t have a bike, and again the fact that I only had a few miles of safe area to bike in lead me to another excuse. I found a trail an hour away that is safe enough, so I can drive there if I have time. But, what about days I didn’t want to drive 2 hours round trip but wanted to be able to bike? Well, I’ve found a way to weave through this little area over and over again to get in a long ride. This weekend I biked 15.25 miles in that time area, and managed to not be bored at all. I listened to a podcast, so that helped, but I also enjoyed the breeze and the quiet towards the end.

The thing is, we humans are really good with coming up with excuses. Some of these excuses are very reasonable and understandable. But, I want to challenge you to see if there is another way you could get around your excuses. It might not look the way you want it to look (goodness knows that my situation isn’t ideal!), but it’s still you doing something that is healthy for yourself, or something you want to do! Over these next days, see what excuse you’re holding onto that you can actually resolve in some possible way, and then do it!

Now it’s your turn to share! What are some of the excuses you hold onto in your life? Can you think of a way to resolve the excuse? Do you have an example of an excuse you were able to overcome?

September 17, 2013

I was given a free bib in exchange for talking about this race. No other forms of compensation were offered, and all reviews and thoughts are my own. 

This year as I set my goal to run 13 races in 2013, I hoped that I could find a “fun run” to do! I’m so excited that I had the opportunity to run Color Me Rad, and that it was my first official fun run! This race really was “rad” and I loved each minute of it!

On the website they say to arrive 45-60 minutes before your wave starts. Because I had to pick up my packet (and I try to arrive places much earlier than usual- and luckily this saved me last week!), I tried to get there about 8:40, giving me an hour and twenty minutes before my wave at 10 am. If I had been much later, I wouldn’t have had time to get everything done, so if you don’t have your packet already, make sure you get there early to park and stand in line!

Waiting for my wave to start was fun! They broke up the 10 am wave into 4 or 5 smaller groups, letting each group go after 3-4 minutes. They played music, had a dance party, and threw color down on us before we started! The time flew by, and by the time I crossed the starting line I had a smile on my face and a bit of color on me already!

photoI definitely didn’t run any sort of running appropriate outfit, but it worked for a 5k. I wore light gray “comfy shorts” and an old navy 4th of July tank top for 2010. These worked just fine. The sunglasses came with the registration pack up, which was really nice. You DEFINITELY want to have sunglasses or goggles on with all the powder flying around!

photoAt the start, not much color yet

There were five color stations throughout the run (not including the start or finish), and three were cornstarch colored powder, and two were liquid color that volunteers sprayed on us from a hose! These colors mixed together to create quite the final splash of color at the end!

photoHappy looking, right?! Notice the girl on the ground rolling around in the color.

The color stations were lots of fun! Seeing them in the distance it looked like smoke bombs were going off. The volunteers had handfuls of the colored powder and would throw them on you when passing. I think because I ran alone (instead of most people running with friends or family), I got a lot more color on me than a lot of people who were in my wave. A note here– keep your mouth shut when going through these color stations. The first one I went through I was laughing, and I got a mouthful of the powder. Have you ever inhaled cornstarch? It’s not so pleasant, and my throat and lungs were a little irritated the rest of the day.

I didn’t go into this race thinking that I was going to PR (or even trying to PR! I just wanted to have fun!), but I ended up running only about 2 minutes than my PR anyways. I did a lot of weaving in between people since A LOT of people walk this race, and I was so thankful for the water around mile 2! I definitely needed to try to clear out some of that powder from my mouth! Right before the finish they handed out individual color packets to throw at the finish line!

photo_2

And then I kicked it to the finish! They were blasting music and the laughter and fun were thick in the air, as was the color bombing at the finish!

photoImmediately post race! I got way more color on me than I was expecting!

I cannot say enough good things about this race! The environment was awesome and the energy was high! The volunteers looked like they were having a blast every minute, and were helpful with questions pre-race. The registration tables were a little messy, so like I said at the beginning, plan some extra time to get there and get your packet! I would do this race again in a heart beat, and think it’s a great race for family and friends.

photoEven after a shower I haven’t been able to get all this color off….

I brought a towel with me to sit on, but before I did that, I rubbed myself down to get off most of the loose powder. I took my shirt off and carefully folded it in a plastic bag, and I am hoping to find a way to save the color on it. Definitely bring a towel to protect the seats in your car… of course unless you want the powder all over it! I would also suggest bringing paper towel so you can wipe your teeth off if the powder gets in there (or… you know… be smart and keep your mouth closed through the color stations!). This race was the perfect way to kick off my Saturday, and a fun addition to training for my half marathon!

Now it’s your turn to share! Have you ever done a fun run before? Would you like to do the Color Me Rad race? (if so- sign up! It’s worth it!)

September 16, 2013

“Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.”

The above quote by Isaac Watts speaks perfectly to a struggle I see almost daily in my office. I ask people in their initial session what has led them into coming in and what they would like to discuss during our time together. One of the things I hear frequently is that they have a hard time trusting others. This might not be the central reason that brought them into my office, but it’s often something mentioned in a string of things.

Our trust gets broken so easily, and too many trusts being broken, too many hurts, causes us to put up walls; we tell ourselves that we can’t trust anyone, and that is how we’ll keep ourselves safe. That is a different post for a different day, and one I look forward to having a conversation about! Before we can keep ourselves safe, we need to start looking at how we lost our safety. Sometimes it was from people who have always been a part of our life, people we didn’t choose to let in, but were already there (our family or close family friends, for example). But sometimes, these were people that were brought into our life, either willingly (friends, dating relationships) or unwillingly (co-workers, people on the same committee as us, etc…). Either way, we need to learn see how we became vulnerable to our hurt, and begin to process what we could do differently in the same situation.

The fact is, we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. If we are close enough to someone or if we are in a relationship for long enough, we WILL be hurt. That’s a promise. Our imperfectness wounds others, and we are wounded by others’ imperfectness. It doesn’t mean we are doomed though!

Shutting ourselves down to relationship and refusing to trust is no way to live a healthy, connected life. We NEED people in our lives, but we want them to be healthy. Life isn’t about figuring out how to ever avoid the hurt, but about trying to minimize the risk.

When we talk about learning to trust people again, we need to learn what a safe person even looks like. How did we let the unsafe person in so close to us? What red flags did we miss? How can we better recognize a lack of safety in the future? These are some of the questions that I work through with my clients.

So that’s where I’ll leave you today. If you struggle trusting people, start to think back to the people who have broken your trust. Are there any warning signs you missed that signal a lack of safety? Are there any similar patterns to behavior between the people who hurt you? What are the characteristics of the people in your life whom you really trust and whom are safe?

September 15, 2013

Well, this week it was TOUGH to get workouts in each day. I’m now met with a change in my previous workout cycles because I‘m now teaching a pilates class (!!!) two mornings a week (one of these days was always when I biked in the mornings!). Not only do I lose two mornings that I might normally work out, but I have to wake up 2 hours earlier on those days, leading me to a bit more sleep deprivation, as well as earlier bed times, leading to less time to get house chores done at night. I’m feeling a bit of the crunch in time, but I know once I get into a routine it’ll be fine. I’ve also been working 12ish hours a day instead of my typical 8 a few days a week due to some minor emergency situations that we have to deal with. These two things combined have certainly made for a less than ideal week, and no longer bike rides 🙁 Like I said, I have confidence I’ll fall into a good rhythm. Here’s how the week looked:

Teaching Pilates for an hour obviously doesn’t mean that I’ve worked out for an hour, but I demo each exercise, I did the plank section with them for the most part, and do the warm up and cool down with them. It’s not too much, but I do get to warm up and move a bit to start my morning!

Now it’s your turn to share! Do you like having a set workout schedule, or are you good with being spontaneous?