The Little Things
May 13, 2013

A month ago I posted about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the connection between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. We each have some distorted or irrational thought patterns, and this can lead to a lot of negative feelings about ourselves, situations, or others (and can also lead to symptoms of things like anxiety and depression). I’ve found with my clients that we can talk all we want about changing thinking patterns, but it’s really hard to do at first if we just think about it. That’s why I encourage my clients to externalize those thought patterns and write them down. It’s easier to see and change patterns when they are external to us, and once we practice them, we can internalize them. I liken it to the idea of math time tests. While time tests were certainly not fun to do over and over again, it helped those equations to become natural and automatic. Now, we have to expend almost no energy because we immediately know what 2+2 is. That’s our goal with healthy thought patterns as well. Last week I talked about the REBT self help form which can help to process the thought, feeling, behavior connection. Today I am going to talk about another form that I use on an almost daily basis with clients: The Thought Record Sheet.

thought record picture

This form asks a number of questions to help walk you through identifying your current emotion and thought, as well as asking you to gather support for and against the disturbing thought. It then has you write a new, more healthy thought, and re-rate your emotion based on the new thought. It takes a few minutes, but the more you do it the more automatic your new healthy and rational thought will be. The goal isn’t to make things a fake happy, because that’s not realistic either. It’s ok for a situation to be frustrating, but this form helps keep the views balanced and rational. By keeping a log like this, it’s easy to track triggers for our stress, anxiety, or depression and allows us to prepare in advance of those situations. Even if you aren’t struggling with anxiety or depression, this form can still be of great use as we each have distorted thoughts from time to time.

The faster you can catch these thoughts and re-write them into a more balanced and realistic form, the more healthy you will think, feel, and behave! Externalizing your thoughts and slowing down to fill out the form can also keep you from quickly snowballing or jumping to conclusions. You can click here for a PDF of the thought record sheet that you can print off and keep available for your stressful moments.

On a personal note, going through this process has made a big difference in my own life. While I don’t necessarily fill out this form much anymore, I’ve practiced it numerous times and am often able to catch those patterns when I say them and am then able to change it to something more realistic.

Now it’s your turn to share! How might you be able to use a thought record in your life? Can you identify any common negative beliefs that you hold onto in your life? 

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to take the place of a therapist or doctor. If you are experiencing anxiety or depression, please talk to your doctor or a local counselor. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or have a plan, please call 911, go to the hospital, or call your doctor or therapist. 

 

May 12, 2013

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there! I hope you each have a great time celebrating with your families! I really am so thankful for the mom that I have, and am excited for everything that we have planned for the summer! I’m also particularly thankful she’s willing to listen to all my processing about training and who is also willing to wake up at 4 am to stand on a racecourse to watch me quickly run by. Her support in every area of my life is really important to me and I appreciate her more then I could ever put into words. 

It’s been a week since my half marathon, and I miss training for it already. I also miss the anticipation that occurs in the weeks right before a race. This week has been all about recovering. While my legs really recovered faster than after my other two halfs, my left ankle is really hurting, and that has slowed down my return to running. Because I’m diving into training again very shortly (more on that in a few days!), this week has been all about resting and taking care of my body. I’ve been recovering in lots of ways, including lots of foam rolling, pilates, and slow walking to keep the blood flowing. Here’s what my recovery week looked like:

I avoided doing any strength training with my legs since I’m trying to rest them and not further harm my ankle, but it did feel good to start working out my core and arms once again. I continue to process my race on a daily basis, and have recognized a lot of lessons that I’ve learned as a result of the race I had. I’ll be writing more on this soon as well.

Now it’s your turn to share! When you’re giving your body a break, what sorts of activities do you do to keep moving? When lifting, do you prefer upper or lower body workouts? 

May 9, 2013

Last November before my 2nd half marathon I did a running edition of thankful thursday, and today I’m here to do it again. But to start with, a quote:

Over the years, I’ve given myself a thousand reasons to keep running, but it always comes back to where it started. It comes down to self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement.” – Steve Prefontaine

I’m thankful that I had the courage to keep running after my first run. I shared all about my first run here. I almost passed out and had to inhabit someone’s front yard for about 15 minutes before I could shuffle home. And here I am running half marathons. I’m thankful that I found the courage within me to keep running and pushing myself.

I’m thankful that, for the most part, I find satisfaction in my running. I want to do well and I want to beat other times, but most days (note: not EVERY day though!), I feel satisfaction in what I’ve run even if it’s slow. I have POTS, and that alone makes it pretty satisfying that I’m able to run at all. When I’m able to keep that perspective I feel really satisfied.

I’m thankful for my trusty Brooks Adrenalines. These things have now carried me through training and running three half marathons, a sprint triathlon, and a handful of 5ks. I love these shoes, and am thankful I found them in December of 2011!

I’m thankful for the online running community! It’s been fun to train for the same race as people I’ve “met” online and “known” for a year or two. I’m thankful for the advice, encouragement, and strength of the running community, and how it continues to encourage and push me.

I’m thankful for my family. My youngest brother and parents were standing out in the rain cheering me on for 13 miles this past weekend. My youngest brother came to my first half, but I had no one there for my second half, so it was nice to know that there were friendly and familiar faces out on the course especially because I was in so much pain!

I’m thankful that I was able to finish my half marathon. With the amount of pain I was in, I really did question for a mile or two if I would be able to finish. I’m thankful I had somewhere deep inside me to go to that gave me the strength to finish.

Now it’s your turn to share! What are you feeling thankful for today? If you’re a runner, tell me what you’re specifically thankful for about running! 

May 8, 2013

Earlier this week I shared with you how tough this half marathon was for me. The pain afterwards was different then other pain, and because of the allergies also required a bit of a different recovery then my other two half marathons. (After my last half marathon I wrote a post on recovering from half marathons here). Here’s what I’ve done the last few days to facilitate recovery:

Saturday  (race day):

Sunday

{Sunday night after I went to bed I got hit with another batch of leg cramps. I got up again to stretch, iced my leg, and ate another small meal}

Monday

Tuesday

I’m taking moving pretty slowly. My ankle feels pretty off on the inside, so I’ve been trying to stay off of it as I can. I’m trying to move and get work outs in, but I’m also trying to give myself time and space to rest and recover. My sleep tends to be so poor the few days leading up to a race, so I’m definitely in need of a lot of sleep now. I’m feeling really thirsty and hungry lately as well, so I’m trying to give my body what it needs to best recover.

I think getting a massage was one of the best things that I did after this race. Besides the two spots that were cramping the worst during my run, my legs actually feel, as a whole, much better after this race compared to my last two, and I think that’s because of massage.

Now it’s your turn to share: What do you do the few days after a race to help yourself recover? Have you ever gotten a massage following a hard workout or a race?

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or trainer. I’m simply sharing what I have done this week to help myself recover. 

May 7, 2013

Happy “mental health monday” on a Tuesday! Because I posted my half marathon race recap yesterday, I bumped my mental health monday post to today. I hope you enjoy!

A few weeks ago I talked about the link between our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviors. One thing that I love to do with clients when they are struggling with anxiety, depression, doubt, perfectionism, or negative thinking (among other things!), is to teach them the process of filling out an REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) Self Help Form. The idea behind REBT is that we aren’t as much disturbed by events as how we process these events.

An REBT self help form helps you identify a situation (the thought) and identify the associated feelings and behaviors that come with that. Then it walks you through how to identify the irrational thoughts, how to dispute these thoughts, how to write a new rational thought, and then identify the more positive emotions and behaviors that go along with that thought process. The point of this form is not to make things a fake positive for you, but to reduce the amount of disturbance that you create in an already less than ideal situation. These forms are easy to use and quick to fill out, and can make a big difference in our mental health! It can be used for almost any area of life causes stress, anxiety, or “mood disturbance”. I’ve even used it to help me process some tough workouts!

Here’s a link to an REBT form that can be printed off

Here’s a link to an REBT form that can be filled out online

Whether you print the form off or just type in the boxes online, this quick little worksheet is an excellent way to process your own thoughts and challenge the irrational thoughts that can lead to bigger problems in our life!

May 6, 2013

My 3rd half marathon is in the books. After posting the day before about my worries about the rain and my allergies, I was a little hesitant about how the race would go. Let’s just say what went down was nothing I’d ever thought about happening on Saturday. But let’s start from the beginning, alright?

I woke up at 5 am after sleeping about 4 hours, and was excited and ready to go! I had been feeling pretty lousy and low on energy the two days before due to allergies, but I felt full of energy on Saturday morning! I quickly got ready and ate my traditional race day breakfast of 8 ounces of orange juice, 1 Luna Bar, and 1 large banana. My parents, brother, and I walked from the hotel to the race start, and I warmed up there. Before the race started they had a moment of silence for Boston, and then they sang “Sweet Caroline”. What a great race start! It was almost perfect running weather- a little overcast, low 50’s, and some humidity. Unlike last year, I was in a corral more in the middle, so I crossed the race start at 13 minutes on the race clock.

photoRace start!

Mile 0-1: This mile went really quickly, and I hardly remember anything about it. I thankfully didn’t have to do too much weaving, and that was nice (again- unlike last year!). I got a bad side cramp about half a mile in, just like last year. I’m not sure what it is that does that, especially since I almost never get them in training (I’m thinking it was difficulty breathing with allergies?). This was the first race I had my garmin, and I held back and made sure to keep a pace that I had trained at.

Mile 1-2: Again, this mile flew by. My side cramp went away here, so that was really nice. I was still feeling pretty good at this point in the race.

Mile 2-3: Lots of entertainment at this point, so that was nice. I remember feeling like the air was really stuffy at this point, so I was sweating a lot and looking forward to the water already.

Mile 3-4: At this point I was remembering every turn of the course, so I knew what was coming next. Right before Mile 4 there was a singer with a guitar player in the road playing, so it was fun to run and listen to them. There’s a sight hill I ran up here, and Mile 4 is close to the top of that!

Mile 4-5: Right when I hit Mile 4 I took my first 2 shot bloks (margarita flavor for extra salt) and then hit a water stop. I felt a little “blah” at this point and definitely wasn’t having as much fun as the beginning of the race, but I thought it was because we were getting close to the speedway (and I don’t like the speedway!).

Mile 5-6: I felt my energy pick up a bit here and did lots of positive talk as I neared the entrance of the speedway. There were dancing cows for Chick-fil-A that were on the course cheering us on, and that gave me something to think about instead of the looming race track. Entering the speedway is always a good moment. There’s a steep hill down from the street and then back up into the speedway, and people cheer going through the tunnel. It’s fun.

Mile 6-7: Oh the speedway- my nemesis. I hate that place, but I really did try to keep a good attitude going in. The first mile wasn’t as bad as I remembered it being last year, which was probably due to the fact that I ran on the very inside of the track (no slant!), and as often as I could actually ran on the grass right on the edge of the track. The track cement is just really hard. I hit mile marker seven really quickly and was pretty surprised.

Mile 7-8: Right after mile 7 I stopped for about 20 seconds to stretch quickly. I thought if I kept myself loose on the track I wouldn’t hurt as bad getting off of it. I hit the brickyard and did manage to kiss the bricks this year! I took my second two shot bloks (also the margarita flavor for more sodium) at this point as well. It was during this mile that my left leg gave out a little bit and I stumbled but caught myself.

Mile 8-9: The first half of mile 8 was still on the speedway. I remember thinking a lot about chips and salsa at this point and desperately wanting something salty. Despite drinking all the gatorade offered to me and eating the shot bloks, I was really craving salt at this point. At about mile 8.3 I texted my family to let them know that I was “about to leave this hell”, and I was really happy to get off the track. While it wasn’t as bad as I remember it being, it definitely isn’t so fun. When I got off the track I noticed that I didn’t pick up as easily as I did last year, and felt really blah and low on energy.

Mile 9-10: Right when hitting mile marker 9 I remember thinking “oh my gosh- I have almost no energy left”. I don’t think that this has really ever happened to me, especially not in any long runs or in any previous half marathon. I ate three more shot bloks this mile (cran razz) and prayed that it would give me what I needed. At this point my legs were feeling a little crampy and achy and my pace was slowing down despite trying to push myself.

Mile 10-11: Yup, I hit empty. Is this the wall that I hear so much about? Whatever it was I’d never felt it before and I definitely didn’t like it. I really felt like I had nothing left in me and had no idea what to do. My legs were cramping pretty badly at this point and I had really slowed down (I sent a text to my family that said “10.4 miles. legs are really cramped up- tough running day”). I was going much slower than my training runs at this point and I felt beyond frustrated and annoyed. Right before mile 11 I stopped to stretch a bit (my IT band was only bothering me slightly- one good point in this race!), but I guess I looked like I was in a lot of pain because someone stopped and asked if I needed to be carried. Nope. I kept telling myself the following: “Caroline- you have POTS and  can handle a lot of pain- DO NOT GIVE UP.”

Mile 11-12: I turned on my music and prayed that my leg wouldn’t completely cramp up this mile. It was really bad. I truly was worried every step that I took that I wouldn’t be able to go on. I had nothing left in my legs, but since I’ve been doing pilates and best body bootcamp, I had something in my core and my arms that I could use. I definitely ran the last miles more with my upper body than my lower body.

photo

Mile 12-13: As soon as I hit the mile 12 marker I texted my family to let them know my location (they were at mile 12.8). In all capital letters I just wrote “PAIN”- all I wanted to do was sit down and sob. While a few tears here and there did escape, I refused to allow myself to cry because that would’ve been extra energy and I needed everything that I had. I kept plugging away, knowing that my family was getting closer and closer. I was so happy to see them as 12.8. Right after I passed them I got hit with a leg cramp so bad I stopped in my tracks and had to stretch it out. My dad ran about 0.1 of a mile cheering me on, and I definitely cried a little bit then. I hated almost everything at this point, and even though I had 0.2 to go, I thought I would have to crawl. I wasn’t sure my legs would be able to finish.

IMG_0629PAIN- and so ready to be done

Mile 13.0-13.1: This last stupid tenth of a mile felt like it lasted SO LONG. I wobbled along and crossed the finish line. There was no smile, no excited arms in the air, and no happy feelings. I was in pain but so relieved to be done.

photoyellow ribbons were given at the expo for Boston

And that’s my 3rd half marathon. I finished in 2:41 which I am beyond frustrated about. It was 10 minutes slower than my half PR, and I trained for a much better race than this. I ran the second half slower than a lot of my training runs, and that was frustrating to me. I’ve never gotten leg cramps while running before, and I have no idea what happened. It was 7 miles of feeling badly, with no energy, and leg cramps. I had to dig deeper to a place I didn’t know was in me physically, and I was able to keep going despite the bad pain that I was in. Despite my time being slower than I had hoped, I still set a 12 minute course PR, and I have to recognize that as a success. Last year I don’t think I would’ve been able to finish the race. The second half of this race was run with a lot of mental energy and upper body strength, both of which I’ve worked on improving a lot with running this past year.

The race wasn’t what I wanted, and I’m beyond frustrated that my body didn’t behave the way that I wanted it to on race day. But you know what? This race taught me that I can handle way more with running than I thought was possible. It showed me the deep level of endurance and willpower that I have even in the face of pain. It showed me that I am in much better shape than last year as well, and I’m happy about that. And now it will push me even harder into training for my next half marathon.

May 5, 2013

Well, another cycle of training is complete (not for long though- I have my next race announcement coming up in a week or two!) and my half marathon is over. My race recap will be up soon (hopefully tomorrow!), but I’m still figuring out how to write it up. It was a race full of mixed feelings, but I did finish! Here’s what the final week of training (resting my legs) looked like:

For the next two weeks it’s all about active recovery as I try to hurry up and heal for my next big thing! I’ll be icing, foam rolling, stretching, doing pilates, and walking to loosen back up. After the monumental I tried to push myself back into exercise a little too fast, but this time I need to not be injured and don’t have a 3 month rest period to enjoy.

May 3, 2013

Here we are again, the day before race day. Race week preparations have gone really well except for one tiny little detail. On Wednesday night I was sitting on my couch and all at once I started to sneeze and my nose started to run. Uh oh…. I checked online and, yup, “very high pollen alert”. NO NO NO- not allergies!! So all day Thursday I spent the day sneezing, couching, and blowing my nose every few minutes. I’m not sure how it’ll go on Saturday morning as I’m sucking in air while running for over two hours, but I really hope that I can breathe! That combined with the forecasted rain (which I’ve never raced in before) might make for a really interesting race.

My goals for the race are not too defined. I want to have fun and enjoy the race most of all. Ideally I’d like to beat my Monumental Half Marathon time of 2:31, but with the speedway and allergies I’m not sure that it will happen. I for sure want to beat my Mini Marathon time last year of 2:53.

The hardest thing last year for me was the speedway. It hurts, it’s long, and that cement is HARD. Mentally that’s been one of the biggest parts of my training. On my long runs I’ve been running the course in my head, and when I hit the mile where I’ll be running onto the Speedway I started to do positive self talk and focus on how I know the track feels. I hope that this will help me feel more prepared for it than last year, but I know that it will still be really hard… you know, unless they’ve repaved it with softer cement!

I’ll be seeing you soon, Speedway, and this time, I’m going to win…

Indianapolis-Motor-Speedwaysource

Before the Monumental Half in November, I shared some thoughts that go on inside a runner’s head, and some of them are definitely playing out again now. I think I’ve come to realize that maybe I won’t ever go into a race day feeling great. My first half I was coming off a shin splint injury, my first triathlon I had just buried one of my good friends, my second half marathon I had hardly ran the month leading up to the race because of an IT band injury, and this time my IT band is still feeling tight and these allergies have come out full force. Maybe that’s just how it goes. But each one of them has still been a really great memory, and the injuries and difficulties aren’t what stand out when I think back to it.

I get one shot at a third half marathon, and I want to make it great. And now, to end this post the way I did my last post before my first half marathon:

the voice inside my head is a liarsource

Now it’s your turn to share! Do you have any “night before” rituals before a race? What lies does the voice in your head say? 

May 2, 2013

Happy Thursday! It’s time to get thankful, so lets cut to it!

I’m thankful for racing. It really helps break up what could become very monotonous exercise. It gives exercising a purpose (you know… beyond being healthy), and adds some excitement to the weeks!

I’m thankful for my job! I know that this one hits the list pretty frequently, but I do very much appreciate the job that I have. The days fly by and I love what I do. I get to be a witness to peoples’ journeys of health, and it’s great to get to see the progress that they make.

I’m thankful for my neighbor. My parents moved into their current house when I was about to turn three, and they’ve had the exact same neighbors that entire time. I obviously know them quite well, and one couple in particular became sort of grandparent-like to me. They stayed with me when my mom gave birth to my brothers, I excitedly told them about being potty-trained (I don’t remember it but they like to tell the story), and they came out to take pictures of and with me before dance recitals and high school dances. I found out a few months ago that he had a brain tumor, and he died this past weekend. I’m thankful that we lived next to them for so many years.

I’m thankful for my legs. They are strong and they take me places. They certainly don’t behave how I’d like sometimes (hello injuries!), but I’m thankful that they are mine.

I’m thankful for the convenience of water. With the extra hydrating I’m doing this week, I’m thankful that I can run to the sink or drinking fountain and immediately get as much water as I like. It’s something so simple that is so easy to take for granted, and it’s good to remember what a great thing it really is!

I’m thankful for 80 degree weather! YAY!! We finally hit 80 degrees. I think this is the latest it’s hit 80 here in the 9 springs I’ve lived here, and I’m so happy to be able to wear shorts and dresses outside and be comfortable!

Now it’s your turn to share! What are you feeling thankful for today? 

May 1, 2013

Happy May! Did any of you ever do may day baskets growing up? I’d love someone to ring my doorbell this year with a basket of candy:) Well, it’s the beginning of May which means that it is almost race day! YAY! April is usually a pretty busy work month, so it tends to fly by pretty quickly.

13 Challenges in 2013 Update:

Ehhh…I’m doing ok. May is a big transition month for me, both in jobs and in training (transitioning into triathlon training!), so that’s always exciting!

Now it’s your turn to share! What was the highlight of your April? What are you looking forward to in May?