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1. Get into a solid workout routine with the new work year. As I mentioned yesterday, I’m heading back to work after only working part time this summer. That means that the amount of time I have to work out is greatly decreasing, and I need to create a new schedule. I hope within the next few weeks I’ll figure something reasonable out.
2. Create a new playlist for my barre class I teach. I’ve had the last two summers off, and I definitely should’ve been busy trying out playlists then. BUT NO- I decided to procrastinate, and here we are. I can use my playlists from last year for sure, but I’d like a few updated lists as well. Does anyone have any solid music choices? I’d like to have created a new playlist within the next 2 weeks.
3. Create my half marathon training plan! I’m about to start training again, and need a solid plan for my workouts as I try to PR!
4. Raise some money for Team in Training! I’m running my next half with Team in Training in memory of my grandma, and am anxious to get the ball rolling in fundraising!
Those all seem like pretty reasonable goals, right? So now that I’ve laid out my goals, here is a bit more info about the link up and the giveaway details!
Today, we’re introducing the You Can, We Can Link Up and celebrating it with a giveaway! The prize will be a Plum Paper planner of your choice. Enter the giveaway below and link up your post about achieving your goals!
Barefoot Thunder // Seriously, Sarah? // The Little Things
Katherine Here // Life with the Casterlines
Fangled Faith // Forever Ashley // Goose Blue Egg
Here is a note from Becca about participating in the link up!
You Can, We Can (YCWC) is a bi-monthly link-up occurring on the 2nd and 4th wednesday of each month. Anybody can link-up with us! There’s not a set-in-stone format you have to follow, but the purpose of the link-up is to set goals that are measurable, realistic, and time-bound. Each post you should outline some goals (previously-set and in-progress, brand new goals, or a mix of both), talk about why you’ve set the goal, and how you plan to accomplish it. Feel free to branch off and talk about anything related to the goals you’re setting.
This summer was an awesome time for me to focus on building up my endurance on the bike, and I’m sad that I’ll lose some of that again. I’ve had some awesome summer rides, like these: Bike Ride To Mackinac Island, Metric Century Ride, Being Chased By Dogs, Take Me Home Country Roads,Cornfields and a 50 mile PDR, and A Muskrat and 21.5 miles.
I’ve spent so many fun weekends at Melissa’s house, running, floating in the pool, celebrating my birthday, going to Keith Urban, eating out, and having so many awesome conversations. I’m really going to miss living there part time 🙂
This summer I’ve had extra free time to read some awesome books. Books like The Fault In Our Stars, Gone Girl, Sharp Objects, The Lost Childhood, Elizabeth Smart’s “My Story”, and many others.
Reading In The Sunshine
I’ve had a lot of great runs, like: Indy Women’s Half Marathon, Fourth of July Freedom Run, and My Accidental Half Marathon— and of course one of my best training runs to date!
RnR Chicago
Neon Dash
Indy Women’s Half Marathon
My job has been absolutely fantastic this summer, and I’ve loved the projects that I’ve gotten to work on, and to be able to give them 100%. These projects will continue, but must take a bit of a back burner to my every day clients that I’ll start seeing. Of course there are SO many things that I wanted to get done this summer that I didn’t, but it’s been the most productive summer I’ve had since grad school.
I’m thankful for all the new friendships that have been developed over the summer, for all the lessons learned, and for all the truly fantastic times.
Now it’s your turn to share! What’s been one of the highlights of your summer? What do you most look forward to at your job?
I felt so sick every single day, and I had no idea what was really wrong with me. I went to one full week of school that entire semester, and I definitely lost some friends because of it. When I realized that there was something legitimately wrong with me, I felt relieved in the sense that I had something to point to when people asked what was wrong. However, I didn’t know much about POTS, and at that point, no one around me seemed interested in learning much either. So I took my medicine and tried to go about my life.
I’ve talked a little about what having POTS has been like, but nothing I’ve written has really fully explained it, and I don’t think words could ever explain it.
What it feels like is that every single day for 10 and a half years, at some point in the day, I’ve come down with the flu. I’ve felt sick every single day for over a decade now- I don’t even remember what it’s like to wake up and feel good or feel normal… normal is this vague idea in my head, but I don’t remember it anymore. When I first got sick, I still remembered what it felt like to wake up and not feel sick like I do with POTS, and I craved that time again. I guess having lived through this for a decade, I don’t remember what that feels like anymore; this is my new normal. I’ve had a headache every single day since November of 2003, and it never goes away. In the middle of that, I get lots of migraines (my longest migraine lasted for 3 weeks before I finally went to the hospital and got an IV). I feel a stabbing pain after lots of meals that I eat, and I’m worried every day that I’m going to pass out. I have very specific things that I do to help compensate for each of these things.
This past Saturday was also a good example. I woke up with a migraine, and with that came a huge amount of dizziness. The ground seemed to rock back and forth, and it was less than ideal. I kept walking into walls and corners of furniture because I couldn’t exactly judge where my body was compared to the objects. I try to laugh it off, but I definitely have some bruises today because of it.
When I got diagnosed, I was really adamant that I wouldn’t let POTS control my life, and no matter how I felt, I’d still push forward to meet the dreams that I wanted for my life. Going into any chronic illness, I think that a strong mindset like that is absolutely critical.
Having POTS has definitely left me feeling on the outside of things sometimes. I live my life pretty differently than the average person, even when people around me don’t notice it. One day last November, I spent an afternoon talking through all the constant adjustments and things I did to deal with my POTS with my mom, and she was absolutely surprised that she hadn’t picked up on all of that in the last 10 years. I’ve gotten made fun of by people, I’ve had people tell me I’m weak (you know- when you have a migraine, sometimes staying out until 4 am is just not what you want to do, right?), and I’ve been deeply misunderstood. I’ve been told I’m lame and pathetic. This hurts, of course, but I know it comes out of a place of ignorance from that person. To me, I’m strong. I get up out of bed every day with a smile on my face, even though I feel like I have the flu. I push myself in exercise because I know it’s critical for POTS, and I enjoy it. The repercussions are far more though for me than the average person, and I have to deal with that as well. I live my life the way I want, on my terms- not on POTS terms… as least as much as I can. (Hopefully this all doesn’t come across as complaining- I’m just trying to give an inside look at what having POTS is like).
Are there days I still get down about having POTS? Absolutely! To most people around me they either don’t know I have it, or I’ve mentioned it in passing. Behind the laughter and smiles, people don’t really know how bad I actually feel, and that’s ok. They don’t need to. I’ve learned to deeply love this absolutely beautiful life of mine- POTS is just something I deal with along the way.
I guess right now I’m just trying to come to grips with realizing that so much of my life has now been spent dealing with POTS. It’s a little sad to me today. But on the flip side, having POTS has shaped who I am today, and I’m thankful for that too. It’s taught me so many things, and has created a stronger person than I was before. It’s funny how chronic illnesses can do that, right? It gives a lot of perspective on the world.
For more information on POTS, check out the following links:
- POTS- An Introduction
- POTS- What Caused It? The beginning of my journey…
- How POTS Changed My Exercise
- How I Started Working Out With POTS
- What POTS Taught Me About Comparison
- POTS and Vision {How I Make Tiny Adjustments To Live With POTS}
Since last Thursday, I’ve had some great highs and painful lows in my life, and yet here I find myself, back in a spot of gratitude. Here’s what I’m feeling deeply grateful for today, as I recognize the blessings and provisions in my life.
I’m thankful for the chance to bike in Northern Michigan and visit Mackinac Island. The bike ride was absolutely amazing , and I absolutely loved spending the day on Mackinac Island as well. The fact that I got to do this as part of my job made it just that much better. I’m so glad for the conversations I had on the trip, the things I saw and experienced, and the ride that I had.
I’m thankful for my cat. Pooky was one of the most loving and funny little cats I’ve ever met. I’m so thankful I had 17 years to love him and be loved by him and to enjoy him as part of my life. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that he’s gone, and that I’ll never get to hold him again or have his arms around my neck or see him run up to me when I walk in the house. That part of me is sad, but a huge part of me is overwhelmingly thankful that I ever had the chance to have him in the first place. It’s the privilege of loving…
I’m thankful for a supportive group of friends. I get by with a little (and sometimes a lot!) of help from my friends! Honestly, I’m so lucky to have the group of friends that I do! I realize it when times are good, but when I hit a tough spot in life, I become overwhelmed with how lucky I really am.
I’m thankful for nature. I feel so much more grounded and peaceful when I go outside or even have my windows open. I’m thankful for getting to dead head and water my plants, to walk and run and feel the ground beneath me, and to hear the animals around me.
I’m thankful for fudge. I had to throw a lighthearted one in here. I ate close to a pound of fudge while I was on the island, and it was totally worth it. I actually really am missing it right now…
Now it’s your turn to share! What are you thankful for today?
This link up will be bi-montly (on the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays of each month). Anyone can join at any time, even if it is just sporadic. The goal behind this is to not only have a place to write out realistic and attainable goals, but also have a group of cheerleaders as you work towards your goal. You have a place to get to know others and develop good and supportive relationships! Sounds great, right? For more information, you can check out the link up page!
I’m especially looking forward to having a group of people to help keep me accountable as I train for my fall half marathon! I’m gunning for a PR while helping raise money for Team in Training in memory of my grandma!
The first link up will occur on August 27th, and to celebrate we’re hosting a giveaway! Make sure to follow along here and at the Barefoot Thunder blog for more information, and get ready to join in for our first link up next Wednesday!
I got Pooky when I was in 4th grade. He wasn’t supposed to be my cat; he was bought for my brothers. The day we got him, my brothers played with him, and when they were done, I was allowed to play with him. He curled up in my lap and from that moment on, he chose me. He loved everyone in my family, but he loved me and was attached to me in a way that was totally different.
He was constantly by my side, whether I was doing homework, getting ready for bed, or eating dinner. I loved having him around constantly. Leaving him for college was so difficult, because I went months without seeing him.
Once we got iPhones it was much easier, and I started to call and then FaceTime frequently. There have been plenty of times where I’ve “played” with him and talked to him for 30 minutes on the phone, and it’s been so fun.
The last 3 summers I’ve spent at my parents’ house, and he was like my shadow. He would cry until I would put him down for a nap and lay next to him and rub him as he fell asleep. When I went outside to work he would follow me room to room throughout the house and watch me. When I got home from things he was immediately at the door to say hello.
Pooky was completely in touch with my emotions, and could immediately sense when things weren’t quite right. Starting the few days before our dog, Casey, died in 2010, he would curl up next to Casey, like he knew. Whenever was sick or good my wisdom teeth out, he was by my side all day.
He always wanted to be carried around, and I held him just like a baby- either on his back in the crook of my arm, or on my hip with legs spread on either side. He loved to wrap his arms around my neck when I picked him up to give him hugs. I would hold him as I cooked because he didn’t want to be put down.
At dinner he would sit there with me while I ate.
When I worked on my computer he would sit there too.
He slept in bed with me, with his head on his pillow and his arms wrapped around my arm.
He could sense when I was upset, and would rub my forehead and nose with his paw just like I did with him. He would like me right in the spot on my head where I kiss him.
Sometimes when I picked him up he would jam his head into my mouth until I kissed his head and he was satisfied with it.
He loved Christmas, and would spend the day curled up with all of us.
This cat was totally dependent on me and totally and completely loved and cared for me, and I in turn deeply and completely loved him.
This is the last real picture we took together, the last night I was home with him. Music was on, and we danced a bit together. He loved to bounce around a little bit, and he had a great time.
In so many ways this cat saved my life growing up, and I feel a little bit like I lost my baby.
My heart is really broken right now, and I’ve certainly cried quite a bit. I love my little beebee more than words can express, and I’m so thankful that I had the wonderful privilege of loving him and being loved by him for the last 17 years. I’m also glad that I had the opportunity to celebrate his birthday this year.
I’ll miss his hugs, his constant love and attentiveness towards me, and the joy and laughter that he brought to not only my life, but the rest of my family is well. He was loved so deeply, and in return he loved deeply as well. I will forever be thankful for the 17 years I had with him.
** sorry for any spelling errors or things that don’t make sense. I’m pretty exhausted and upset right now as I type this. Please forgive me for the lack of structure and order….
We went in a bus on the way up there, and because the drive took so long, we didn’t get into the hotel until about 2 am. Breakfast was scheduled for 7 am, so I knew I wasn’t going to be getting much sleep. Friday started with Starbucks and a breakfast before we rallied the troops to start the ride. Most people aren’t bikers at all, so I knew it was going to be a slow day with lots of stops.
I started the ride with a group of girls, but ended up dropping them maybe 10 miles in because their pace per mile was much slower than I was accustomed to riding. I couldn’t do it anymore, so a group of guys invited me to join in on there ride, and our pace per mile picked up a solid couple of miles per hour. My legs finally felt like they loosened up a bit, and I was able to fly.
It was great to get to know so many people I didn’t know already know, and the conversations really helped the miles fly by quickly. It was a nice change of pace from my solo rides with books on tape (which I also love). The scenery in northern Michigan was also absolutely amazing, and really helped the miles fly by too. We spotted bald eagles, deer in the woods, and the roads we were on went by beaches, through quaint towns, and through beautiful forests. I wish I could’ve taken more pictures.
We stopped for lunch at a park near the water, and then rode another 5 miles before hitting the beach for a bit. There were lots of steep hills, which I don’t normally get a chance to ride, and I loved seeing how strong I was going up the hills.
The 52ish miles flew by quickly, and before we knew it we were in Mackinaw City! My fueling and hydration was 100% on point, and I felt really fantastic the entire time.
That night we slept on the cement floors of a building near the water (I was so tired I didn’t even care), and then continued the bike ride the next day on Mackinac Island (all our bikes were sent over on the ferry). The views there were absolutely unreal as well!
Here’s my nutrition and fueling:
- 1 granola bar
- 4 berry shot bloks eaten one at a time throughout the miles
- 1/2 an apple
- Lunch: 1 PB&J sandwich, 1 small bag of chips, 1 small bag of fruit snacks, a few pieces of salami
- 1 bag of skittles
- 40 ounces of gatorade and 25 ounces of water.
I also took a salt packet at lunch (we sat around for about 40 minutes in the sunshine). The weather was absolutely ideal- sunny, no wind but a slight breeze, and a starting temp of 40 degrees (with maybe a high of about 70 when we actually arrived).
This was my favorite weekend of all time in terms of biking, and I hope that I can do the trip next year as well!
Other great rides to read about: Metric Century Ride, Being Chased By Dogs, Take Me Home Country Roads,Cornfields and a 50 mile PDR, and A Muskrat and 21.5 miles
Last week I didn’t do a thankful thursday post since I wrote about celebrating my birthday, but I did post some gratitudes in there, so I guess it sort of counts? Here are some things I’ve been thankful for over the last 2 weeks:
I’m thankful for an awesome birthday. This is one of the birthdays where I felt the most loved, and it was awesome. Since I posted the “celebrating my birthday” post, I ended up having another little surprise dinner with some friends.
I’m thankful for my group of grad school friends. I definitely couldn’t have made it through school the same way without these girls. They saw some of my very first counseling sessions, I was there through various crises with them, and we learned how to be counselors together. I had dinner with 3 of them to celebrate my birthday, and it was the first time in 4 years that all 4 of us have been together in the same place. My heart felt happy.
I’m thankful for shark week. I love things to look forward to, and this is one of them. This is my 8th shark week, and I think I get more and more excited for it every year. I’ve watched some crazy shows, and I still can’t believe that people willingly jump into a whole group of sharks. No thank you. (I had a cousin who was bit by a shark once. I’m not a fan of them, but I enjoy watching them on TV once a year.)
I’m thankful for sunshine. We’ve had some nice weather lately, and I’ve been loving it. I love being outdoors in it, and I had a great time at the pool most days this past weekend.
I’m thankful for good books. Like I said earlier this week, books have the ability to give so many things to each of us. I love being able to escape into another world for a bit or experience some adventure I’d never otherwise go on in life. I also love inspiration. I just read the 4:09:48 (the book about the Boston marathon bombing) a few days ago, and it was pretty interesting.
Now it’s your turn to share! What’re you feeling thankful for today?
In 2007 I completed my first marathon, Deseret New Classic Marathon. Two months after completing my first marathon, I decided to run in the Top of Utah Marathon. I loved running distance so much, that I wondered how many other marathons there were around Utah, and it was then I was introduced to the world of the Ultramarathon.
In October of 2007, I ran and completed the Ogden Valley 50 miler. I not only completed a 50 miler, but also discovered that I was not as tired and sore after running 50 miles as I had been running marathons.
In 2009, my speed was getting better, and I signed up for more challenging mountain races. It was during an attempt at the Kat’cina Mosa 100K that I started noticing some odd things about my running. In the heat of the August summer, I ran out of water on a difficult 9-mile stretch of the race, and became seriously dehydrated. Making it difficult to traverse down the mountain I experienced dizziness, hallucinations, and made it to the aid station 1 hour after the cut off time. I was completely defeated and demoralized, because it was my first time not being able to finish a race.
In May of 2009 I attended a Global Eating Disorder Conference, and listened to a presentation by Dr. Elizabeth Joy. After hearing her presentation, I knew she might be able to figure out what was wrong with me. I had started having issues with my blood sugar. I also started dealing with increasingly extreme fatigue. By the time that I ended the May 2010 school year I could barely get out of bed. After seeing Dr. Joy in June, she immediately suspected that I had POTS syndrome. She ran several blood tests on me, and the only one that came back positive was a norepinephrine test showing that I had a pretty good case of androgenic POTS. Dr. Joy told me that what I was doing, running (to increase my blood circulation), increasing salt intake, and caffeine 100mg in the morning was about the best I could do for POTS, and she discouraged me from using a Beta Blocker, which is used in some POTS patients, because she was afraid it would interfere with my distance running.
I was able to complete one 50 miler in June, by putting scaps in my hydration pack and drinking Coconut water. During that race my nutritionist told me to try taking 1500mg of sodium per hour, which was about twice what is recommended for a normal person. I completed the race, but still had difficulty and was still hyponatremic after the race. After that race I ended up in the ER three times needing IV fluids to stabilize, and having more blood sugar issues. When you have POTS, every morning when you wake up, it’s like you have the flu. The one way to get over the symptoms for me was to make myself move past it and get my blood circulating, then the flu symptoms would be not as bad when I was moving.
My nutritionist had me increase both my potassium and sodium intake to 10,000 mg potassium daily and 5,000mg of sodium daily on days I was not active. Over a couple of months of taking a lot of supplements and slowly making myself return to exercise, I was able to reduce my need for sleep to 12-14 hours per day instead of 20 hours per day, and I attempted a couple of races.
In August of 2010 I again attempted Kat’cina Mosa. I started out OK following the high sodium regimen, but on the most difficult climb of the race, suffered a severe hyperglycemic episode. I had to quit at mile 46. After Kat’cina Mosa, my body was very tired, and I started my second year of graduate school demoralized, and sick. I needed at least 12 hours of sleep per night. I managed to struggle my way through Grad school. I attempted the Wasatch 100 in September, but had to drop at mile 18, and it was the most difficult year of POTS in 2010-2011. However, slowly but surely with perseverance and strict adherence to nutritional needs, I started to be able to do things again, and tolerate running. In January of 2011, even though I was still pretty sick, I was able to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, and completed a Snowshoe 50K that same month.
Through a lot of training and effort, I have started completing ultramarathons again in 2014. In January I completed a Snowshoe 50k, I was slow, but I finished! In March I attempted a 100 miler on Antelope, and was only able to make 62/100 miles, but that was the furthest distance I have ever completed, so it was a win. Then I completed the Squaw Peak 50 in June of 2014. I had difficulty with some POTS symptoms in the heat and was slow after mile 33, but I finished! And then there was Kat’cina, I felt OK for the most part, but had difficulty on some of the hill climbs with speed, and my heart rate, and it slowed me down. I was rushing to try to get to the cut off at Little Valley by 4:30, but fell and hurt my back on the way down. I was devastated, because I wanted to finish this year so badly, but reflecting, I realize my speed still is increasing, I did not get dehydrated, and my blood sugar stayed stable.
My next challenge to overcome with POTS is increasing heat tolerance, and increasing my ability to tolerate hill climbs and increase my speed. I dream of it someday, being able to be fast climbing hills again. I visualize it every day. I am faster every year, and yes I still have POTS, but it is not dictating my life.
Some things that I’ve learned from POTS:
- Sleep is important. I no longer practice a midwife because my body doesn’t handle endless nights with no sleep.
- What worked for me may not work for everyone; you should see a doctor who specializes in POTS to determine what is right for you.
- Fatigue makes everything difficult, but perseverance out wins fatigue.
- Respect your body
- Medications: some medication have helped me such as a serotonin–norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI). These medications are typically prescribed to treat depression, but with Androgenic POTS SNRIs have help control my norepinephrine response which helps mitigate: dizziness, flu-symptoms, fatigue, and increase blood pressure and circulation. This is what has helped for me, but your case may be different since there are different causes of POTS.
To read more about POTS go to: http://www.dysautonomiainternational.org/page.php?ID=30
Books are so powerful, aren’t they? They have the power to educate, to help us escape from our current lives, to take us on adventures we could never go on in our real lives, to heal, to grow us, to educate, and to change our lives. My parents instilled a love of reading early on in my life, and I’m so glad that they did. Books have changed my life in so many ways, and I count reading as one of the “little things” in life that, added together, can create big changes.
When I think about books that changed my life, it’s really hard to pick one, or even a small handful. For the purpose of this, however, I’ll only choose two books. The first book that changed my life is the book Boundaries (I write more about it in the following posts: Introducing Boundaries, Influence vs. Ownership, and Acknowledging Our Hurts). The ability to understand how to say yes and no appropriately, how to take appropriate responsibility for things (and, alternatively, what not to take responsibility for in life), and to let go of some of the people-pleasing tendencies I had was so incredibly freeing. Boundaries are the foundation of any healthy relationship we might have, and they are critical.
The second book that changed my life was the book A Grace Disgused: How The Soul Grows Through Loss. This was given to me after multiple friends had died (it made for a REALLY tough year of life), and gave me a deep sense of hope as I journeyed through grief. A brief quote that I love: “The decision to face the darkness, even if it led to overwhelming pain, showed me that the experience of loss itself does not have to be the defining moment of our lives. Instead, the defining moment can be our response to the loss. It’s not what happens to us that matters as much as what happens in us. Darkness, it is true, had invaded my soul. But then again, so did light…” In those difficult moments of grief, I felt like the author (who lost his mom, wife, and daughter in a car accident) opened my own journal and wrote from that. It’s a book I recommend to anyone going through loss.
Here’s your first journal prompt:
Think about a book that touched your life in a significant way. What made the book significant, and how did life change as a result? Feel free to share those books in the comments here as well!
